{"id":3798,"date":"2025-07-21T15:30:24","date_gmt":"2025-07-21T15:30:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/?p=3798"},"modified":"2025-07-21T15:30:24","modified_gmt":"2025-07-21T15:30:24","slug":"resisting-the-monkey-how-to-stop-taking-on-too-much-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/resisting-the-monkey-how-to-stop-taking-on-too-much-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Resisting the Monkey: How to Stop Taking on Too Much Work"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As a manager, do you find yourself doing your team\u2019s work\u2014just to be helpful?<\/p>\n<p>Do you say \u201cyes\u201d to work so often that it creates stress for you?<\/p>\n<p>Do you help others so much that you don\u2019t have time to do your own job?<\/p>\n<p>If so, you\u2019ve got a monkey on your back.<\/p>\n<p><strong>What\u2019s the Monkey?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A \u201cmonkey\u201d is a task or problem that belongs to someone else\u2014but somehow ends up on your plate.<\/p>\n<p>I first learned about this idea years ago, when I was a young CEO of a natural gas trading company. A board member asked if I had ever read <em>\u201cthe monkey article.\u201d<\/em> I hadn\u2019t\u2014so he handed me a copy on the spot.<\/p>\n<p>The article was <em>\u201cWho\u2019s Got the Monkey?\u201d<\/em> by William Oncken, Jr. and Donald L. Wass\u2014still one of Harvard Business Review\u2019s most popular pieces. And when I read it, I realized I was guilty of a common leadership mistake: I was taking on work that wasn\u2019t mine.<\/p>\n<p><strong>What It Looks Like in Action<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s a classic monkey moment, straight from the article:<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re walking down the hall. One of your direct reports, Murphy, stops you to talk about a problem he\u2019s having. You don\u2019t have time to resolve it right then, so you say, \u201cLet me think about it and get back to you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Guess what just happened?<\/p>\n<p>Before that conversation, the monkey was on Murphy\u2019s back. Afterward\u2014it\u2019s on yours.<\/p>\n<p>Who owns the monkey? The person with the next step.<\/p>\n<p>Murphy just delegated up. And you accepted.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s how managers, often with the best of intentions, end up buried in work that doesn\u2019t belong to them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Why We Pick Up Monkeys<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s usually not about ego\u2014it\u2019s about good intentions gone sideways:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You think you can do it faster (and maybe better).<\/li>\n<li>You want to be helpful.<\/li>\n<li>You feel guilty because your team is already swamped.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>But here\u2019s the problem: doing the work <em>for<\/em> your people doesn\u2019t help them grow. And it doesn\u2019t help you stay focused.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Shoe-Tying Test<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Picture this: You\u2019re trying to get out the door. Your daughter, Courtney, is struggling to tie her shoes. You could stop and coach her\u2026 or just do it for her so you can get moving.<\/p>\n<p>But if you always tie her shoes, she\u2019ll never learn.<\/p>\n<p>Leadership is no different. The best managers build strength in their teams\u2014even when it takes longer in the short term. That\u2019s how you grow performance, trust, and accountability.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s also how you protect your own time.<\/p>\n<p>The more capable your team is at handling their own monkeys, the more you can focus on yours.<\/p>\n<p><strong>So How Do You Say No Without Being a Jerk?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not easy. But it is possible\u2014if you learn the art of the \u201cpositive no.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>William Ury coined the term in his book <em>The Power of a Positive No<\/em>. It\u2019s a simple framework to say no constructively and clearly:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong> Start with a \u201cYes.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\nAffirm the relationship and your willingness to help.<\/li>\n<li><strong> Say \u201cNo.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\nEstablish your boundary.<\/li>\n<li><strong> End with a proposal.<\/strong><br \/>\nOffer a next step\u2014on your terms.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><strong>Example 1: Make an Appointment<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s say Murphy corners you in the hallway.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMurphy, I\u2019m happy to talk about it\u2014but I don\u2019t have time right now. Let\u2019s set up a time to discuss it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Just like that, you\u2019re helpful <em>and<\/em> in control of your time. And sometimes, Murphy will even say, \u201cNever mind\u2014I can handle it.\u201d Monkey avoided.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Example 2: Defer the Yes<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re overloaded but still want to support your team, try this:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m glad to help\u2014but I\u2019m maxed out today. Can it wait until Thursday afternoon?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s supportive, but it keeps your priorities intact.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Example 3: Require Initiative<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If Murphy <em>does<\/em> need your help, make it clear: he has to come with a proposed solution. Otherwise, his monkey will leap onto your back again.<\/p>\n<p>Before the meeting, ask him to bring at least one idea. That way, he owns the problem\u2014and you can coach, not solve.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Leadership Is About Empowerment, Not Heroics<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>You\u2019ll always get more requests than you have time to fulfill.<\/em> The key is to stay in control without shutting people down.<\/p>\n<p>The \u201cpositive no\u201d helps you:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Protect your schedule<\/li>\n<li>Empower your team<\/li>\n<li>Reduce stress<\/li>\n<li>Build stronger performers<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It works. When I started using it, I was surprised how well people responded. They were more understanding than I expected. And for the first time, I had breathing room to focus on the work that was actually mine.<\/p>\n<p>So, the next time you\u2019re walking down the hall and Murphy tries to hand you a monkey, remember:<br \/>\n<strong>Say yes to the relationship, no to the work\u2014and yes again to a plan.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s how you stop being a monkey magnet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As a manager, do you find yourself doing your team\u2019s work\u2014just to be helpful? Do you say \u201cyes\u201d to work so often that it creates stress<span class=\"excerpt-hellip\"> [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3380,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3798","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3798"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3798\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3799,"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3798\/revisions\/3799"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3380"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3798"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3798"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loganloomis.com\/ot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3798"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}